About two weeks ago, I was traveling to a doctors appointment about 35 minutes from my house. It was before the ridiculous heat wave we’ve been in and it was a beautiful afternoon. I jumped in the car and hit play on my 80’s music playlist. Driving along listening to my music I was transported back to being a teen driving on those summer days. Ahhh the good ole days (smile). Every few years, when I know I need to drive by the city, I will drive through the two neighborhoods that I lived in as a kid. The first neighborhood I lived in from the time I was born until I was 10. I remember seeing the “hill” that we lived on as an adult for the first time. It seemed SO GIANT when I was little and it is seriously just a mole hill. The second neighborhood I lived in until I got married. We did live with my parents for a year to save money for a house so I moved from there when I was 22. I like to drive by that house and through the neighborhood I spent hours walking around.

I hate moving. Well…the first time wasn’t bad. All we had to move was our clothing and wedding gifts. That move was a piece of cake. But our second move…ugh. At the time, our son was about to turn six and our daughter was four. Having two small children and showing your house at any given moment was not fun. (the toys…my gosh the toys!) There is also too much unknown with moving that my planning and organizing brain doesn’t like. You have to sell your current house to buy your second house. Everything has to be timed just right. If not, then you have to rent a place until you find your next place…I’m sweating just thinking about it. Our house sold quick. Like four days quick. Finding our next house proved to be a little more time consuming. Not fun…don’t like it!

We only moved 7.7 miles, but it felt so much further lugging all of our stuff there. The people we bought our house from were moving out of state and their timing didn’t work out as planned. That meant that when we did our final walk thru all of their stuff was still in the house. Let’s just say there were quite a few hidden things that were impossible to see due to that fact. Like how they had put some type of shiny treatment on the hardwood floors. The problem was that they didn’t clean the floor beforehand so there was grass and dog hair under the shellac type substance. That would have been bad enough, but we discovered that the large area rug they left in the family room hid the fact that they had treated the floors around the rug. There were several closet shelving units that collapsed when we put our clothing on them. They had clothes hanging in their closets when we toured the house…we have no idea what they did to them when they moved out. They had stained the kitchen cabinets, as well as the stair railing, leaving thick drip marks on both. Sadly I could go on, but I’ll stop there. Then there is the daunting task of getting all of your furniture moved in. It is stressful!

And that’s just the house and moving stuff part. So much more goes into it like stopping mail, utilities, cable, etc. at one house, and getting it started at the next house. If you move far enough and you have children, there is getting them established at the next school. At least we only moved 7 miles away. It’s a whole other ballgame if you move out of state. My son recently moved from Maryland to Pennsylvania. Just getting his car squared away was a nightmare. Here’s a part of his ordeal…

It took quite a few steps to get my car transferred to PA. I had 60 days from my move-in date to get a PA license, but only 20 days to get my tag and title transferred over (which required a new license). First I got my new license at the DMV, but they issued me one that was not Real-ID compliant so I have to go back before next May or I won’t be able to hop on a plane. The lady at the DMV told me they can’t print real IDs on site, it has to be mailed to me which could take 3 weeks and that would put me in danger of being fined for not getting my car title changed over in time.

I needed proof of PA insurance so I could get a PA registration, so I contacted my insurance agent and at first she told me I would need to get a PA registration to get PA insurance. I told her that sounds impossible, so thankfully in a few days she got back to me with a new insurance policy under the stipulation that I get my registration handled that weekend.

To get my car title changed over, I needed to go to an auto notary. Thankfully they are everywhere in PA, but they don’t like to list the notary fee on their websites—only the $50ish state fees. So the notary I went to charged me $300 (gasp) to verify the VIN on my vehicle and sign off on it. Then, I had 7 days to get a safety inspection on my car. I called around to a few mechanics and most couldn’t get me in until 2 weeks later. Best I could do was 10 days later, but thankfully I guess the government didn’t notice that I got my inspection late cuz I haven’t been fined for it (yet?).

The last thing I had to do was mail my old license plate back to the Maryland MVA. When I was looking up how to do that, I saw a notice that if you cancel your MD car insurance before the MVA receives your plates, you can be fined. My insurance was cancelled at least a week before I went to even send the plates, since it was cancelled when I got my PA insurance. Didn’t get fined though! (yet?)

Lots of bureaucracy and threats of fines!

I’m tired just reading that! I can’t imagine moving to another state back then with my two young kids…and two cars! I have lived in Maryland my entire life and thankfully have not had to move to another state. A few weeks ago, I did a post on Facebook that referred to laws changing in particular states and how it was creating havoc for people that I know. Someone snidely remarked that if a person didn’t like the “moral” laws in their state they could just move. Really??

I’ve mentioned before that I get questions about Maryland regarding LGBTQ+ friendliness from moms in other states that have to move to protect their transgender children. This is so sad to me. I can’t imagine having to move because the government is telling me how I need to raise and care for my child. With everything else that parents have to deal with these days (think social media and cell phones as a start), I can’t fathom adding this to the list.

Imagine you and your spouse needing to find another job. Uprooting from everything you know…all of your friends and family…and moving to another state hoping and praying that the state doesn’t change it’s laws and you have to start the process all over again. Maryland isn’t as friendly as it once was a few years ago. The school boards in several counties here have banned anything rainbow related. They have banned same sex couple teachers from having pictures of them and their spouses on their desks. One of the things I used to tell teachers who wanted to let kids know they were safe was to have something rainbow in their classrooms. As simple as that seems…it can be a lifeline for a child.

When having conversations with people about what’s happening, they often tell me that I am falling for the lies that media is telling us. I’m actually not. I know people who have had to move because of laws that have already been put into place, and I know people who aren’t sticking around to see if the laws that have been presented are going to be approved. They can’t risk it. They can’t risk not being able to get care for their child. If things weren’t so dire, they wouldn’t go through the hassle of moving.

As I mentioned, I like to go to my old neighborhoods from time to time. I like to do that because I can picture my mom there. She’s been gone for so many years, and these places bring me comfort. They make me feel close to her. I would really hate it if I had to move far away from these places. But I would do anything to protect my child. These families are not looking to ruin your family as some would like you to believe. They are trying to survive. They are trying to keep their children alive. Let’s stop vilifying them. May we stop pushing them to the point where they become hometown refugees.

I love these families…and it matters.