Christianity

Small things…big difference…

/ Lesa / 2 Comments

tastykakebutterscotchWhen I was a little girl, I loved Fridays, and it wasn’t because it was the start to the weekend.  Nope…I loved Fridays because it was grocery shopping day. Now don’t worry…my parents didn’t starve me (smile).  I just knew that when my dad came home from the store I was going to get a treat.  Sometimes it was gingersnap cookies, sometimes it was a Slim Jim, but my all time favorite was Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets.  Yum!  AND I was allowed to eat them before I had dinner, plus I got to spend time with my dad while he put the groceries away.

Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150I’m joining Holley Gerth today and her “Coffee for Your Heart” challenge to encourage others.  This week’s theme is “A small thing that makes a big difference is…”  Well, a Butterscotch Krimpet may seem like a small thing, but it was a big deal to me.  Not only was it something tasty, but I got to spend quality time with my dad.  It was a special little thing that we shared.  It let me know that while he was at the store…he was thinking about me.  He was doing an ordinary task that people do everyday, and he took the time to find my treat and bring it home to me.

There are a lot of small things that can make a big difference…

Did you ever receive a phone call from a friend at just the right time?  Did they lift your spirits or make you laugh on a day that you didn’t think that was possible?  A small thing…big difference.

Have you ever received a card in the mail from a friend that spoke to you in just the right way…at just the right time? Did it let you know that you weren’t alone…that someone loved you and was thinking about you?  A small thing…big difference.

Have you ever had someone hold the door for you at a store on a day where you felt like everyone was against you? Or have someone stop their car and let you pass in front of them on a day when you just felt invisible to the rest of the world?  Small things…big difference.

Has someone ever said to you, “I’ll pray for you.” during a difficult time, but instead of waiting for their quiet time with God, they prayed with you right then and there?  A small thing…big difference.

These small things make a big difference too…

Posting that comment on FB that was less than kind about someone.  A small thing…but maybe that comment fed doubts and fears already hard for them to control…big difference.

Telling that gay joke.  A small thing…but it is offensive and hurtful to not only the gay person, but to their friends and family as well…big difference.

Pointing out certain verses in the Bible regarding homosexuality to “plant seeds” to your gay family member or friend.  A small thing…but trust me, if they’ve grown up in the church they have been over those verses a million times and if they haven’t grown up in the church…not the best approach to introduce them to God…big difference.

We all need to remember that it’s not only the big things we do in life that people notice…it’s the small things too. And sometimes those small things make a bigger impact then we ever imagined they could…good or bad.

My husband finally had his back surgery yesterday.  We were bombarded with prayers, texts, and emails all with well wishes…small things…big difference.  We could feel their love.  (hopefully this post will make sense…we didn’t get much sleep in the hospital last night)

To this day, I can not see a package of Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets and not think of my dad (smile).

Love each other….because love matters.

Does someone need a hug?

/ Lesa / 3 Comments

At the risk of everyone thinking I am totally cuckoo, I’m going to share a childhood story with you.  When I was really little (well…young…people would say I’m still little), my parents got me a pet rabbit that I named Puff.  I don’t remember my pet rabbit because I was so young, but apparently when Puff went to heaven I was one sad little girl.  My mom told me I would stand at the back door and cry, asking Puff why he left me because I loved him and wanted him to be with me.  I guess my parents felt bad for me so they got me a goldfish…which I named Puff.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I can appreciate the beauty of fish, and really enjoy fish in aquariums, but a goldfish in a glass bowl just was not meeting my nurturing spirit to love an animal.  I remember my fish Puff and I remember how sad I was when he died.  parakeetSo, my parents got me a bird.  You guessed it…Puff the parakeet.  (Don’t ask me why I named every pet Puff.  Maybe it was because I was young and didn’t have a very large vocabulary.)  Now Puff the bird was better than Puff the fish, but I found that having a bird was still not quite meeting my need to share love with a pet. I can remember putting my little fingers through the cage bars to try to pet him and he would peck at them. It hurt!  I remember crying asking him, “Puff why did you bite me.  You hurt me!  I love you.  I want to pet you.”  Well occasionally my parents would let Puff out to stretch his wings and he would fly around the house.  I became very good at sneaking up on him.  I would wait until he was at a level I could reach, and I would move very slowly towards him and snatch him up when he least expected it.  I would then run with him to a very small coat closet that we had so he couldn’t get away from me, and I would hold him close against my chest and stroke his little head and hug him.  I can still remember the feeling of his little heart beating a mile a minute against my chest.  Now don’t worry.  He never got hurt.  I just desperately wanted to show my love to him and I so wanted to be able to hold him all the time and hug him.  Pretty weird, huh?

I’ve gotten lots of questions since coming out about my son being gay (yes, the parents have their own sort of coming out).  One of the most common questions/comments I get is this:  “I know that we are supposed to love everyone.  But when it comes to someone who is gay – I’m not sure what that is supposed to look like.”  I have to admit…I’m a little taken aback when I hear this.  To me, this sounds like conditional love.  I’m not sure why love would look different. If it’s because they take the stance that being gay is a sin, aren’t we all sinners?  Should I ask how I should love the proud, the addict, the gossiper, the adulterer?  I don’t think so.

I read a post the other day that has haunted me. I will add the link at the end of this post so that you can read it for yourself.  I don’t want to misquote it.  The post was discussing the GCN Conference that took place in January.  GCN stands for Gay Christian Network.  The annual Gay Christian Network conference brings hundreds of brothers and sisters in Christ together for fellowship, worship, support, Bible study, and more.  It’s for the LGBT community, but anyone can attend and sometimes parents attend with their gay children.  Here is a quote from the post regarding the conference:

“The parents had their own meeting time to share their stories with each other and be support for each other. What they decided to do later that day was beyond amazing. Those that were comfortable enough agreed to line the hall outside one of the meeting rooms and give hugs to those of us that needed and wanted them. When they made that announcement, I realized I still carried a lot of pain due to my father’s reaction. I KNEW I was going to get a hug from a dad!”

Shew!  Still makes me cry reading it.  Imagine…being rejected by your parent and wanting to be accepted so badly that a hug from a stranger takes some of the sting of rejection away.  So, how does it look to love a gay person?  It should look the same as loving your spouse, your children, your neighbor…because that is what God commands.  You have no idea the pain and suffering that they’ve gone through.  They are rejected for how they were born.  They didn’t choose to be gay. Picture that hallway…and the line of men and women…young and old…waiting for a hug. Some human contact that lets them know they are loved and accepted simply for being themselves. We need to change the perception that is out there.  This can’t continue.  I’m so glad that God grabbed a hold of my heart and taught me how to be different.  I’m so glad I listened.  My son will never have to stand in that line.  It is one of my life’s missions now to one day be at that conference.  To stand in that hallway…and hug and show love to as many people as I can.

If you consider yourself a Christ follower, how you treat people matters.  You are an ambassador of Christ.  Do you want to turn people away from God, or turn people towards God?

When Puff the parakeet died, my parents got me the pet I wanted all along.  I was at my great grandmother’s house and my mom walked in with a brown paper grocery bag.  She sat it down in front of me and it started to wiggle.  me and cherieI peaked inside and saw a tiny little ball of black fur. My very first dog! No, I didn’t name her Puff…my parents wouldn’t let me (smile).  Can’t you just see the joy on my face as I give her a hug.  I know she doesn’t look as thrilled (and she could really use a haircut in this picture), but she became my best friend.

Give someone a hug…because hugs matter too…

The post I reference is from FreedHearts.  If the link doesn’t take you directly to the post, the title is “When he hugged me, I just fell into his arms.”

Life from the unexpected…

/ Lesa / 2 Comments

I was looking through my vacation pictures the other day.  The most recent being of New England…specifically Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine.  I love that part of the country.  Everywhere you look you can see mountains. There was something really peculiar though…I was amazed at the trees that grew right out of the side of the mountains. I’m not talking about tree covered mountain sides…but trees literally growing out of rocks. I wish I could have gotten better pictures, but most of the time we were driving when we would see them.

Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150How does that happen??  I’m joining my fellow blogger Holley Gerth and her “Coffee for Your Heart” challenge to encourage others.  This week’s topic is “What are the encouraging words you want to hear when you’re having a hard day?”  To be honest, I’m not sure that there are words that I want to hear when I’m having a bad day.  Sometimes it helps me more to just have someone listen. So, when someone is having a bad day the first thing I do is listen to them.  Let them vent because it helps to get it all out.  I find that sometimes an answer to a problem comes just from talking about it out loud to a friend.  If the circumstances are right, I also use humor.  I’ll be the first to admit that I am just a big goof ball at heart (and my friends have plenty of pictures to prove it unfortunately [smile]).    Now I would never say this to someone in the midst of a hard day (I would probably get smacked upside the head), but the truth is…those hard days can turn into something that is good for us.

quarrySo how is it possible for trees to grow right out of rock?  How can something beautiful grow from something so hard and lifeless?  One of the places that we visited our first time in Vermont was the Rock of Ages Quarry.  They have amazing granite there, and as you can see, there are trees growing right out of that granite.  The tour guide explained that all it takes is a small crack to develop in the rock.  This allows the rain to get down in there and it slowly breaks the rock down into sand and dirt.  Add a little sunshine to the mix and some wind to blow some seed and low and behold…you get a tree!  So what can seem like a flaw in the rock, actually is something that brings forth life.

What does that have to do with a bad day, or month, or year?  Well there are times when life is just plain hard.  Things happen that we just can’t explain or understand (why would God allow this to happen?, etc).  We have a choice when this happens. We can close off our heart to God, our family and friends, and even to ourselves.  Or, we can choose to open up about our struggles.  Share them with someone…with God.  Open our hearts so God can rain down His healing power.  He can take a difficult situation, something that seems so impossible, and allow it to break us down, and grow us into something we never expected possible.  I don’t dare pretend that this process is easy.  But I can tell you that if you allow God to work through your bad days, amazing things can take place.  I never dreamed that having a gay child would strengthen my relationship with God, but it has done just that.  It was hard, it was confusing at times, and it has made me love Him even more.

So, if you’re having a bad day…know that God is with you.  He loves you more than you can imagine.  He cares about what you are going through. And someday, you will see how you’ve grown through the experience.

When it feels like everything is falling apart…remember this:

Love each other…because love matters…

Idols aren’t just golden calves…

/ Lesa / 7 Comments

When I was eleven, I started attending a new school.  Doing that during those middle school years was tough, but I did my best to jump right in and make new friends. Eventually I invited one of the girls to my house for a sleepover to get to know each other better.  We settled in with some snacks and decided to watch some television in my basement.  I can’t remember what we were watching, but I can tell you that I remember what happened when Shaun Cassidy came on the television screen.  My new friend let out the loudest, shriek/scream I have ever heard in my life.  I asked her what was wrong and she exclaimed, “I looovvveee Shaun Cassidy!”  I thought that was all fine and good, but why on earth was she screaming about it.  I got a quick lesson that this was the way she expressed her admiration.  My poor mother came running down the basement steps wondering what in the world was murdering us.  We had a good chuckle about it the next day when my friend went home.  When I eventually went to her house, I discovered that her room was plastered with just about every picture ever taken of Shaun Cassidy.  I didn’t quite get it…my heart throb back then was Scott Baio from Happy Days (smile).

Just about everywhere you look in our society these days, you can see people going overboard with celebrities, sports figures, etc.  All it takes is a night of watching television advertisements for things like reality tv shows to see that we are way out there when it comes to what we look for in entertainment (don’t even get me started on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo). People become famous over the craziest things!  To me, these things are easy to see as distractions and things that maybe I don’t want to spend my time on.  But the idea of idols is nothing new.  I’m in the middle of reading Exodus right now and I’m at the part where Moses comes down off the mountain and sees the Israelites worshiping a golden calf that they had made from their gold rings.  It’s easy to read that and think, ‘What was wrong with those people??  How could they forget what God had done for them.” But I have learned, it’s easier than you may think.  Did you know that your problems can become an idol?

When I found out my son was gay, my world was turned a bit upside down. His being gay was not an easy thing to face, but the real difficulty came more from knowing how he felt about himself.  He didn’t like who he was and because of that he suffered from anxiety and depression.  I can’t tell you how stressful it is to know that your child hates themselves and at times wants to end their life.  You are on constant alert. In my post, The Land of What If’s, I wrote about my prayer journals.  Seems like a good thing to do.  But even though I talked to God about the situation, doesn’t mean I was handling it the right way.  My thought patterns in the first few years went something like this:

What did I do wrong and how can I make things right? to…
How can we help him change? to…
Understanding this isn’t something that can change – does this mean he won’t be able to get into heaven? to…
What does God really feel about this? to…
Am I doing the right thing by supporting him? to…
On and on and on…

I felt like this was all I was thinking about….praying about. It was not only exhausting…it was wrong.  I was living in fear…focusing all my energy on the “problem”, not focusing it on the One who could carry it all for me.  This had become my idol.

2014.01.13 17.02.53.228So what did I do?  It’s been a process.  I would like to say it was a one and done type of thing, but in reality it took some time to sort things out.  One of the things that was troubling to me was that my son had stepped away from God.  He wasn’t going to Him for strength and guidance.  I decided to take some index cards and write Bible verses on them that I thought would help him and I taped them to the rails of his bed under his mattress.  He would basically be resting his head each night on the Word.  I would read these verses each week when I made his bed.  Another thing I did was prayed over each room in my house.  I also prayer walked around the outside of the house.  I gave the situation over to God.  It didn’t mean that I didn’t ever think about it, or worry about it again, but it gave me some peace.

I had a heart to heart with God one day out on my deck.  I told him how hard this was and I 100_0360wondered out loud if it would be easier if I just walked away from my faith.  What was I supposed to do?  How did He want me to handle this?  I very clearly heard Him tell me that it wasn’t up to me to figure it all out.  This is between Him and my son.  I just need to love him and support him no matter what happens. That I can do…to me that is easy.  God has not let me down…He has been with me every step of the way.  I just needed to get out of His way (smile).

So I love the best I can and I ask you to do the same…because love matters.

Get a grip people…

/ Lesa / 9 Comments

512px-Rubber_duckOk…so I haven’t been on here in a while because I had a 15 day migraine. The last thing I wanted to do is stare at a computer screen.  Maybe that’s a good thing because I wasn’t subjected to the whole Phil Robertson scandal.  Now that I’m back online, I’ve seen my fair share of it and it makes me sad.  It’s like Satan took a piece of meat and threw it to a pack of hungry wolves. While everyone is bickering, there are people in our country suffering because they are homeless, hungry, sick… What a way to distract God’s people.

Freedom of speech…we all have it even though many are complaining that we don’t.  Phil Robertson expressed his opinion and some people didn’t like what he had to say and made that very clear.  His ability to express himself wasn’t taken away….he wasn’t thrown in jail, or worse.  But we all need to understand that sometimes there are consequences for how we express our opinion…especially if we are in the public eye and represent a company or organization.  If Christians would just understand that it’s not so much what they say that starts a controversy, it’s their delivery.  People want to be treated like human beings with dignity. The whole thought of “hate the sin…love the sinner” sounds so nice and righteous, but it falls so short of how we are to treat others.  Many times the hate is obvious, but the love is not.  If we really followed that philosophy, we would treat everyone equally because let’s face it…we are ALL sinners.  But the truth is…we don’t treat everyone the same.

Unless you are gay, you will never understand what it’s like.  I’ve been a Christian most of my life.  I’ve never been persecuted for it, or judged for it.  I’ve never been bullied for being a Christian, and I’ve never had to think about being attacked while walking down the street.  I can go to any church that I choose and I will be welcomed there. My friends and family have not turned their back on me and I haven’t had strangers yell at me at my job because I was a Christian. The same can not be said for many gay people.

I know there are all kinds of radical groups out there on both sides of this issue.  Christian vs. gay.  Things are going to be said that offend both groups. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.  Words carry great power and the results of their sting can be long-lasting.  Everyone is so worried about being “right”…making sure their point is heard.  Instead of getting our feathers so ruffled, let’s focus on the hurting people in our world.  If Jesus lived here and now, I don’t think he would be sitting at his computer arguing his point.  I think he would be with people showing them His Father’s love.

Because love matters….