No regrets…

Me and Mom

Me and Mom

Growing up, I had a friend that had a very volatile relationship with her mother. There were many times I was uncomfortable being in their home because they would be screaming at each other. I never understood it.  I didn’t have that kind of relationship with my mom.  I never once raised my voice to her.  And I’m so glad because she died very suddenly (you can read about it in my post “I will see you again”).  Even though I never fought with my mom, there were times when she would do something I didn’t like and I would think things in my head that I would like to say, but didn’t.  I’m so thankful I kept it to myself.  I regretted every negative thing I ever thought about her when she died…and she didn’t even know about it!  But the regret was deep.

It saddens me to see relationships in strife.  I wish I could make the people contributing to that strife understand that they don’t know how long they may have with their loved one.  They should cherish moments with them.  I know that relationships aren’t always smooth sailing, but we can choose to treat each other in a way that we won’t regret later.

My heart broke into a million pieces this week when I watched a video that had gone viral.  I knew what was coming…I knew it would be heart wrenching, and I watched it anyway.  I had no choice.  I was compelled to watch it even if only to remind myself of what I’m fighting for because this happens more often than I care to imagine.  I wasn’t going to write about it because many bloggers had done so this week.  But God wouldn’t leave me alone. Maybe it’s because many of my readers who don’t live in my “world”…the LGBT “world” may have missed it.  Maybe it is something they need to see…to experience… so that they can understand the emotion caught up in this subject.

This is a young man named Daniel who knew he was being called into an “intervention” type of meeting by his family.  He used his phone to record the meeting (you can only hear what is happening…you can’t see anything).  His boyfriend later posted it on FB and it went viral.  It’s only 5 minutes long, but it is a gut wrenching 5 minutes.  Warning:  If you have been abused in any way, this may be a trigger for you and I would recommend you not watch it.  It also has strong language:

They start the conversation with the words…”you know I love you.”  This is a funny way to show it.  I’m happy to say that even though Daniel was kicked out of his home he is currently safe.  Unfortunately, that is not the case for many others.  40% of homeless youth are LGBT and this is why (for help visit here).  What about this is ok?  It saddens me that people use the Bible to condone this type of behavior.  I think it grieves Jesus as well.  I know that not everyone behaves this way. And maybe you are thinking this is an extreme case.  I wish I could say that were so, but I hear about this type of thing almost everyday.

When my son came out, I told him that I loved him no matter what…and I meant it with all of my being.  I did, however, say some very insensitive things to him.  Things that I was taught growing up in the Church.  I was saying them…not really even knowing why I was saying them.  I was just repeating what I had heard.  When I got down into the nitty-gritty with God, I learned a better way.  He saved me from myself, and in doing so, He saved my relationship with my son.  I have been able to go back to him and express my regrets for the things that I said.  Please understand that I am for the Church.  I just think they have some changing to do when it comes to this matter.  And this is why it matters to me what church I go to now and in the future.  That is something I’m currently working on with God.  What will He have me do?  Only time will tell (smile).

Someone once said to me, “I know we are supposed to love gay people, but what does that look like?”  I think it looks like this:

1 John 4:7-8 (NLT) Loving One Another

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

So moving forward I want to live a life with NO REGRETS when it comes to loving people.  I can’t afford them.  I want to love BEYOND words…because LOVE MATTERS.



8 thoughts on “No regrets…

  1. Lesa, you say things so beautifully and you are teaching me so much about loving through difficulty and through rough times. Thank you so much for your words. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the video. I just cannot watch others hurt people. I do get the gist of it through your description and that was quite enough. You exemplify the words “Show me how to love like you have loved me.”

    • Thank you so much Janice! Your comment about the video reminded me that I wanted to put in the post that you can’t see what is happening…only hear…but I forgot. So, I just added it. It is still really hard to listen to so probably good for you not to listen to it. Thanks again for your kind words :-).

  2. That family is a complete disgrace! I breaks my heart for Daniel! Whatever they believe still doesn’t elminate the fact that he is their son, grandson etc. It seems that they were far more worred about their own image than how their son was feeling. Thank you so much for doing this blog and educating more and more people every day! You are such a blessing to all the Daniel’s in the world!

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