I figured since I posted about Lucy here (The very best girl) it would be only fitting for me to introduce our new baby here as well.

It’s been a journey so I wanted to share in hopes that it may help someone else along the way. I have missed my Lucy so very much. I still cry every day with different things that remind me of her. Mike has seen me wandering around the house at times. He would ask what I was doing and I really couldn’t answer him. I felt very lost.

Well you know how Facebook is with their algorithms. I posted about Lucy and suddenly I was getting posts about dogs looking for their furever homes. Lots of posts. So many heartbreaking stories and sweet little faces. But I wasn’t ready for another dog…in fact I didn’t see how I could ever get another dog. I just wanted Lucy back. I also didn’t know how I could ever endure the sadness I felt ever again. Not only that, but I didn’t WANT to feel that kind of sadness ever again.

I have been seeing a counselor for some anxiety that I’ve been dealing with since entering menopause (thank you wacked out hormones!). She told me that I have such a kind soul and have so much love to give that I would probably need another dog, but only I would know when I was ready. Well if you’ve been following me for any length of time you know my parents got me a dog when I was four because trying to hug my bird just wasn’t cutting it. (Does someone need a hug). I knew my counselor was probably right, but I don’t know that I would consider myself ever really “ready” to do so.

One of the posts on FB showed that there was going to be an adoption event at the pet store by me. My counselor suggested that I go and just see what it felt like to see other dogs. I scrolled through the pictures of the dogs that they were going to have there. There weren’t any that were really speaking to me, but there was one picture that caught my eye. Mike came home from mens group that Saturday and he asked what was on my agenda for the day. I tried to go while he was out, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I told him what my counselor said and he suggested that we go.

We got there and they had a ton of dogs. They were all different sizes, ages, and breeds. We walked around and stopped at each crate. I spotted the little face that I saw on the internet almost immediately. Online the dog was listed as a male named Spearmint, but this was a female named Peppermint. I found out later that Spearmint was her brother and was adopted before the event started. I circled around again and landed at Peppermint’s crate. The volunteer asked if I wanted to hold her. I lifted her out of the crate and she snuggled right up to me and put her little head in the crook of my neck. I held her for about 15 minutes and she just relaxed with me. Mike asked what I wanted to do and I told him that I didn’t know. I didn’t think I was ready. He suggested that we do some shopping at the store in the same shopping center to see how I felt. We did that and decided to go home. The event was Saturday and Sunday so I told him that we could always come back the next day.

The rescue place took pictures of each dog that was adopted with their new family and posted them on their page. I found myself looking all night to see if she had been adopted. Her picture never showed up. We woke up the next day and went to church. After the service, the first thing I did was check FB to see if she showed up. She did not. Mike asked again what I wanted to do and I was so torn. I decided to go down and see if she was still there and thought maybe we could take her outside and play with her a bit. I texted the kids to see if they wanted to meet her. Even though they don’t live at home she would still be a part of our family. Kyle was taking his boyfriend to the airport and couldn’t make it, but McKensie came.

We played with her for about 40 minutes outside. She loved being out of the crate. She bounced around not really sure how to walk on a leash. She is all ears and legs so she looked a bit like a moose jumping around. We had one of the volunteers with us and Peppermint kept going up to her and flopping in her lap. The lady was amazed at how quickly she had bonded with her given that she had just met her the day before.

After we played, we took her back into the store and put her back in the crate. I stood there for about an hour trying to decide what to do. There were tears. My heart was torn because I didn’t think I was ready, but at the same time I didn’t like the thought of her not getting adopted and having to go back to a shelter. When she saw the volunteer that she had bonded with giving water to some of the dogs, Peppermint started whimpering when she saw her. That did me in. I couldn’t stand the fact that she would be taken away from her, but to a shelter and not a loving home. So…I decided to take her home. Honestly, I’m surprised that they let her leave with us because it was clear I was really struggling.

She was terrified of the car ride home. She had been driven from Texas for the event and I don’t think she ever wanted to see a car again. She had a rough few nights once home, but she has settled in and is showing her “true colors” aka puppy wildness. She even had her first vacation last week as we took her on our annual OBX trip. Having her has not taken one bit of my sadness away over losing Lucy. Like I mentioned the tears still come every day. What having her has done is given me something to focus on, but more importantly another fur baby to pour my love into.

I have had so much support from my friends through this journey. Many of them that I have met through the groups I’m in for moms of LGBTQ+ children. Having a gay kid has blessed me in so many ways that I never imagined. One of these friends sent me a book that helped her when she lost her beloved dog. It is from the perspective of the dog that is dying. It’s called, The Last Will and Testament of an Extremely Distinguished Dog by Eugene O’Neill. I must have read it 20 times. This book was very helpful.

This part was especially helpful to me:

The dog mentions that he heard his owners say that when he dies they must never get another dog because they loved him so much and they could never love another. He asks because of their love of him, to have another. He says that it would be a poor tribute to his memory to never have another. In fact, he hopes that he brought his owners so much love and joy that they couldn’t live without another. He does mention that the new dog will never be as distinguished as him, of course, and they shouldn’t use that against him. (smile)

The last page of the book gets me every time I read it, but again gives me comfort. And that last page reads:

“No matter how deep my sleep, I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.” (tears)

Lucy will always be my very best girl. And Pepper (we shortened her shelter name) will be her very own girl with her own personality and we will bond in our own special way. It’s already happening…

So here is our Pepper girl. Like I said she is all ears and legs. Sometimes she looks like a bat…sometimes a gremlin…sometimes a puppy. She has a tuft of hair that sticks up sometimes and she has a bit of an underbite. All things that add to her cuteness…in this mom’s opinion anyway. She is trying to learn all the puppy things (Benry is hoping that she speeds that part up). She makes me laugh every day.

There’s lots of love to give…and love matters even for our furry friends.