That’s what my brain tells me. It is never good. But sometimes to jump in and offer encouragement to someone’s post because you know things are going to get nasty, those pesky comments get past that warning. You would think that being on this journey for 17 years (how is this even possible??) I would have seen it all. Sadly, I have not as people are getting more emboldened in their attacks online. I was going to say spewing hate, but I really think these people would say they aren’t being hateful. Instead, they are sharing the “truth.” 

The latest instance of this was when I came upon a post on the internet of a mom sharing a story about her son. In the story, she shared that her son likes to paint his nails. He also sometimes likes to wear tutus when playing. You would have thought this mom said her son likes to torture puppies and set children on fire. The comments were awful (the assumption of course is that he is or would turn out to be gay). Many quoting Bible passages while at the same time berating the mom. People were quick to jump in and tell this mom what this little boy needed. Including a good spanking and a male role model to show him what it means to be a man. 

This is something that I find really interesting. I believe I’ve shared before that my daughter was not a girly girl when she was little. She and her brother are very close in age and she liked the things that her somewhat older brother liked. Things like dinosaurs, toy cars, video games, Legos, etc. She wasn’t big into wearing dresses or playing with dolls. Not one person batted an eye at this. People would comment about how cute it was that she was such a tom boy. I wasn’t warned that she was being psychologically ruined by me allowing her to play with these “boy” toys. I wasn’t told that she needed to spend more time with me to show her how to be a proper woman. I have some thoughts about this, but that’s a whole other post (smile).

The story the mom was conveying was a cute one. Now some might say, “Well the mom should expect that…why is she sharing that on the internet?” And I would say, “Why can’t she?” She should be able to share a part of her family without being attacked. The inability for people to keep scrolling without saying something is astounding to me. I know how this feels because I deal with it as well. 

Let’s take a real-life example of what happens when folks follow the type of advice that these internet people think is so important….and life changing. It’s life changing all right. In this case, the person is an adult and is LGBTQ+

I know a young lady who recently lost her mom due to a chronic disease she had been battling for years. When she came out to her mom, she was very supportive. The entire rest of the family completely disowned them. They disowned their niece, granddaughter, sister because she was a lesbian. They disowned her mother because she supported her daughter. Zero relationship. You see, there are some church leaders that will tell you this is what you need to do. A form of “tough love.” By doing this, the person will see the error of their ways and turn back to God. My question is…what if they know God and never turned away in the first place?

When this young lady’s mom was in the last stages of her disease and the end was nearing, not one of her family members came to her bedside to say goodbye. Not one. What do you think that is like for this young lady to process? Not only did she herself lose her entire family, but she is responsible for her mother losing the same. Even to the point that they would not come see her as she was dying. And this is godly to them. She is the same age that I was when I lost my mom and my heart just breaks for her. 

I don’t understand people that hold up the Bible and behave this way. How do you think this young lady feels about God right now? Do you think she feels God’s love? Often it is us…His people…that show His love. If we show the opposite, then people feel the opposite and equate that with God. 

We sing a song at church called Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. My favorite lyrics in this song are these:

There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me

These words are about God’s love for us. I find myself weeping every time we sing this song. I think of the people I’ve met along the way that don’t know this kind of love from God because there are people in their lives that tell them they aren’t worthy of it. I picture this young lady’s family as the wall that God must kick down to get to her. 

We got some snow last week and I snapped this picture of my neighbor’s bush. I think snow is so beautiful.  It reminds me of us…each one of us uniquely made. It saddens me that little boy in the post could have shame heaped upon him because of how he likes to express himself. His uniqueness. He is four years old. 

If God knit us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13)…if we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)…if He knows the number of hairs on our head (Luke 12:7) then He knows that there are little girls out there that play with trucks and dinosaurs and little boys that paint their nails and wear tutus…and I think He is ok with that. If YOU aren’t ok with that, then maybe you can just scroll on by and skip the commenting.

Be love out there…it matters.