God

Neither height nor depth…

/ Lesa / 10 Comments

The only way I can even begin to wrap my brain around how much God loves me is to think about the love I have for my children.  I would do anything for them.  When they were little, even the most frustrating day could be made better by sneaking in their rooms at bedtime and watching them sleep.  They always looked like little angels and the days frustrations just melted away.  And in the morning…we had a fresh start.

It’s hard for me to believe sometimes that God’s love for us is even stronger than the love I have for my children.  He sees our mess, He knows our hearts, and He loves us.  Oh how He loves us.  One of my favorite verses is Romans 8:38-39 (NIV):

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Notice that there isn’t a “but” in that verse or an “if”.  Nothing can separate us from His love.  As much as I love my children and family, my love is nothing in comparison to God’s love.  God is love.

When people find out that I have a gay son, a common response is “of course you love him…he’s your son.” For some, that statement seems to imply that if he wasn’t my son, I wouldn’t love him…that somehow he wouldn’t be worthy of love because he is gay.  It’s as if you are saying, “well I think same sex attraction is a sin, but what are you going to do, he is your son and you love him.”  My son is not the first gay person that I’ve ever known.  Over the years I’ve known many gay people.  I found that they were just like me.  Regardless of whether or not you think same sex attraction is a sin, I love my son despite the fact that he is a sinner.  Just like I love my husband, despite the fact that he is a sinner.  Just like God loves you, despite the fact that you are a sinner.

When Jesus was asked, “of all the commandments, which is the most important?”  He answered in Mark 12:29-31 (NIV):

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.”

It seems to me that this love thing was pretty important to Jesus.  And I think the reason for that is…love matters.

In Christ Alone…

/ Lesa / 5 Comments

Did you ever have rituals at bedtime as a kid?  You know, the kind that you felt kept the scary monsters away?

scared kid

For me it was the running, flying, leap into bed.  Somehow I thought if my feet didn’t come near the floor of my bed, the scary monsters underneath of it couldn’t get me.  I also thought if I kept completely covered by my blankets (just my head sticking out), they wouldn’t be able to see me and if they couldn’t see me, they couldn’t get me.   When I was really little, I watched the Wizard of Oz and those darn monkeys scared the heck out of me. My mom had to create what she called “monkey spray” to spray away all the monkeys so they wouldn’t get me while I slept.  It’s funny how kids minds work.

I was reminded of these things yesterday.  The things that scared me as a kid…and the things that scare me today.  And yesterday was a pretty scary day.  I went to church like I do every Sunday.  Only this particular Sunday was the first Sunday after my blog went public.  The proverbial cat was out of the bag.  Now I know my entire church has not read my blog… I have no idea who has read it really.  But since I posted it on FaceBook I know that some people from church have seen it.  So, to walk into church was a little scary.  I know how some people feel about this topic so I wasn’t sure what response I would get from them.  I’m happy to report it went really well.  Not because of anyone’s particular response towards me (no one said anything about it at all), but because I felt so FREE!  I finally felt authentic, genuine, REAL. It wasn’t that I was trying to be fake before… I wanted to share this a long time ago, but God’s timing is perfect. And He gave me His perfect peace yesterday.  I felt and still feel so blessed.  Thank you Lord that the tears I’ve cried have blossomed into something I never thought possible.

Our worship team sang, In Christ Alone by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend (one of my favorites).  The first verse spoke to me so much yesterday:

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

Amen and Amen!

And just think… if it was scary for me to walk into church yesterday…how do you think a gay person might feel walking into a church?

Poked with a stick…

/ Lesa / 6 Comments

Have you ever seen a hornets nest?  They are the strangest looking, most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen an insect make and they can get really big.  We had one several years ago in a tree a few feet from our front door.  It was really weird because as big as it was, we didn’t see it right away.  We just happened to notice what looked like a face in our tree.  Creepy!

It looked something like this:

hornet nestDoesn’t it look kind of look like a face screaming in the tree!  It was freaky.  So what do you do when you have a hornets nest in your tree? It was really big and my husband is not a big fan of bees so we called an exterminator. I was really curious about how the exterminator  was going to deal with it, but he told me to stand back.  He then went to his truck and got a stick.  When I saw that, I thought “are you kidding me??”  I went up on my front porch where I could still see, but had an escape. He took the stick and poked the nest, and then ran like a little girl to his truck.  The hornets were swarming everywhere.  I of course ran into the house.  I peeked out the living room curtain and I saw him in his truck on the phone.  I guess he wasn’t an expert in hornets nests and was getting some advice.  He came out of his truck with a can of spray that had a really far reach.  He was able to stand back and he sprayed the heck out of the nest.  The hornets eventually either flew away or died and he was able to take the nest out of the tree.

So why a story about our hornets nest?  Well, I guess because I feel like I’m poking the Christian community with a stick.  I’m tackling a subject that can be touchy in the church.  And I guess I just want to put it out there that I am totally for Big “C” church…meaning the Body of Christ…not just my home church.  I feel like I’m being led to write this blog to reach out to the church and let people know that sometimes the way some Christians handle this subject is very hurtful.  There have been times that I’ve been with friends or in a Bible study where someone would say that “gay people are freaks”, or that “God should strike them all dead”, or it didn’t matter what their own sin was…”they could never forgive that sin”.  Well, all I can say is I’m glad they aren’t God (smile). None of these people knew that my son was gay… and they were part of the reason I didn’t tell most people. It was like being sprayed with judgement and if my faith wasn’t strong… I would have left the church like the bees left their nest.  When they said those things, they were talking about my son.  I was listening to those comments and then going home and some nights staying up all night with him so he wouldn’t kill himself because he didn’t want to have those attractions.

I forgave those people because I knew it came from a place of ignorance; they didn’t really understand what it was like… how could they?  I’m not here to debate.  I know what the Bible says and my son does too for that matter.  I’m here to share my story in hopes that it will help other parents who may be going through the same thing.

1 John 4:7-8 (NIV)

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Why…because love matters.

Beauty in ink…

/ Lesa / 13 Comments

Well…it took me 10 years and searching for something I wouldn’t mind when I’m 80 (smile), but I finally took the plunge and got a tattoo. I figured here would be the most logical place to show this new work of art since this was my very first blog post. I’ve been wanting a tattoo for quite some time. I wanted something that would show that I’m an ally (notice the rainbow colors). I chose the butterfly because it reminds me of so many people I’ve met along this journey. People who have hidden their true selves from the world because they were afraid of being rejected…living in dark closets (cocoons). When they can no longer hide, they break out of the dark place that they have been hiding and share their beautiful selves… bravely facing a world that in many ways rejects them. I have a butterfly bush and I love watching the butterflies enjoying it every summer. Each one is unique. Some are torn and tattered, but their beauty shines through regardless. Each time I see one, I am reminded of my LGBTQ+ friends. And that is why I decided on this design as my permanent sign that I am an ally.  

And my original post from 10 years ago…

I have a confession to make…I am absolutely fascinated by tattoos.  I think they are so beautiful (well most of them…some are downright scary).  If you asked my kids, they would probably tell you that I am totally against them.  It’s not that at all. I’ve just always told them if they are going to get one to be smart about where it is on their body…and to make sure they will still like it when they are 80 (smile).  I really appreciate the artistic expression of a tattoo. I envy the talent and confidence it takes to draw something permanently onto someone’s skin.  I’m sure there are times in public that people think I’m a total creeper for staring at their tattoos.  I’m just fascinated about the story behind them.  One of these days I’ll get up the nerve to ask someone.  Every once in awhile I will catch one of the reality TV shows that have competitions for tattoo artists.  It is just amazing to me.  As much as I appreciate tattoos, I personally do not have any.  I’ve never come across a design that I like enough to put on my skin forever (that I would still like when I’m 80).
The shows that I watch give the stories behind the tattoos that people get.  Sometimes it’s to honor someone in their lives…maybe someone they were close to that has passed away.  Others get tattoos to pinpoint a moment in their lives that is meaningful to them.  At times, it’s because they have a design that they just really like and want to be reminded of on a daily basis.  And let’s face it, there are those who get tattoos when they’ve had one too many to drink.  Regardless of why, it’s always a personal choice to get a tattoo.  It got me to thinking…what if we didn’t have a choice.  What would we do if God decided to tattoo our bodies with our sins.  Something to help us to remember what we’ve done…maybe as a deterrent to not do it again.  Things like…

Flower-Orchid-Pretty-Tattoos-Designs

I’m a cheater

I’m a thief

I am prideful

I’ve lied

If God did decide to do this, I guess we could cover up the tattoos.  There are many people who get tattoos and no one ever knows about them. As a matter of fact, this year will be the first year that a Miss America contestant will show her tattoos.  She said that many girls have them in the pageant, but they choose to cover them up.   But if they were our sins, how could we ever cover up all of them…

I harbor bitterness

I hold onto anger

I’m jealous

How about…I’m gay

I think if you are a believer you can agree that we all sin.  Many of our sins are private…no one knows about them (except for God of course).  But if you are gay, and you come out, that is something that is very visible.  Something that the church calls sin.   I feel, however, that most believers (I know not all of them) treat the person themselves as sin.  Someone to be totally avoided. And because of that, many gay people go to great lengths to keep their true selves hidden.  It is a terrible way to live.   This brings me to my point…and the point of this blog.  My son is gay.  I would like to share my journey that began six years ago when I learned this about him.  I know for “church people” this is a controversial subject,  but I invite you into my story to share with you what I’ve learned along the way.

cross

There is another reality show on TV about tattoos that is my favorite.  The artists help people who have the most embarrassing, ugliest tattoos and transform them into beautiful works of art.  It is truly amazing what they are able to accomplish.  When they are finished, it’s like the old tattoo never even existed.  As believers, we have someone who does that for us too…Jesus.  He takes His blood, covers our ugliness, and transforms us into new beings.  Forgiven…the old is gone.  Why…because He loves us…even gay people. And…love matters.